Surely it will have happened to you some time: you know a person, you start talking about any subject and, suddenly, you notice that discomfort invades the conversation.
At this time it is normal for you to feel that it is you who is causing the discomfort in the other person.
Insecure people: inferiority complex or simple shyness?
Until the moment you started talking to that person everything was going perfect: you had a good day, you felt good about yourself. But from the moment you notice the discomfort with the conversation you are having, certain doubts begin to arise about your appearance, your body language, your ability to communicate … In principle, the person in front of you has an impeccable image, a good put in your company and great communication skills. But it has the peculiarity of wanting to show everyone how well they are doing in life, whether in a relaxed context or in a business meeting.
Before these people, it is not uncommon for us to feel very small, insignificant, overwhelmed by their personal stories that show us that, apparently, they are people with magnificent lives.
Inferiority complex: a concept developed by Adler
The psychology that hides behind the attitude that these people show was developed by the Austrian psychoanalyst Alfred Adler, who proposed the concept of inferiority complex. In the words of Adler himself, people who have an inferiority complex tend to devote many efforts to overcompensation through what Adler calls “struggle for superiority.”
Insecure people who do not know how to manage their insecurity can try to feel happy by making the people around them feel unhappy. Adler adds that this relentless struggle to feel superior is one of the most obvious signs of neurosis.
Obviously, not all insecure people are neurotic. Occasionally, insecure individuals channel this characteristic through withdrawal or shyness. In fact, they are usually a majority, but in this post, we will pay more attention to the insecure with an inferiority complex that Adler described.
5 signs that tell us that we are facing an insecure person
Next, we will explain the different indicators and signals that can warn us that we are dealing with an insecure person … and with an inferiority complex.
- Can try to make you feel insecure about yourself
In the case of people with an inferiority complex, it is quite common that they begin to question you and make you feel bad. The most common is that they are not especially rude or rude; If they make you feel bad, it is because they show a false cordiality. It is also common for people with an inferiority complex to try to let you know their achievements and virtues at all costs. If you usually feel good about yourself but begin to doubt your worth when you are accompanied by certain people, they may be projecting their fears and insecurities on you. - It needs to show you its value and achievements
It is not an essential condition that you feel insecure when you talk with a person to conclude that that person is projecting their complex on you. Individuals who continually flaunt their training, lifestyle, personal and work achievements and their perfect family, may try to convince themselves that they are prominent and valuable people. - Frequently use false modesty
False modesty is one of the ways insecure people use to show off their achievements. For example, you will have noticed that you have a contact in social networks that usually complains about all the trips you have to do, but in reality, what you want to show is that you have an important job. - It is often critical repeatedly
People who have a permanent feeling of inferiority tend to show that they have refined tastes and high expectations about all things around them. In fact, they are often labeled as snobs, because they are very critical of all cultural products that they believe are not up to par. They use this strategy not only to give an image of special people but also as a method of self-evaluation. - Beware, there are insecure people worth knowing
Not all insecure people have an inferiority complex. Therefore, there are people who feel insecure because they are shy, or because of the social situation (the context) of the interaction causes them some discomfort. To talk with these people, make sure you are pleasant and casual, that it does not seem that you interrogate them or examine them. If you create a good rapport with them it is likely that they will open to you and you can have a most pleasant interaction.