It is not easy for anyone to abandon the goals that have been set at some point in their life . It is often said that nothing is impossible and is nice as motivation, and even true in exceptional circumstances, but the literal and indiscriminate application of this principle can harm. Sometimes, you have to give up impossible goals based on the reality principle.
Insisting on an unlikely goal can cause a lot of damage . Beyond the time and effort invested, the worrying thing is that it often leads to erroneous conclusions. Likewise, it sometimes becomes a neurotic mechanism so as not to compromise with true desires.
There are many moments in life where you give up impossible goals. Since we were born, we tend to desire realities that cannot be realized . We mature precisely in terms of abandoning those desires that can never come true. Therefore, such renunciations are not the confession of a failure, but the principle of a true achievement.
The impossible goals
We humans do not like limits . On many occasions we end up accepting and adapting to them in order to be part of a family, a society, a culture. Basically, we are born with the predisposition to wish that everything be done in our own way and that we can impose our will whenever we want.
A part of parenting is precisely dedicated to teaching the child the limits for behavior . You learn, for example, that we are not alone in the world and that we must take into consideration those around us. We learn that, not without some resistance. These concessions generate frustration, but, in return, allow us to build healthy bonds with ourselves and with the world.
We will have to give up the mother’s chest, to always be in her arms, to be in the house all the time, to play without anything hindering the fun …
In each age of life we will have to give up impossible goals , such as always being children, always teenagers or eternally young. Life implies a long list of resignations.
Give up impossible goals
Many of our goals never become conscious . Very few would admit that yes, they want to remain mom’s child until age 50. But they want it. Nor would they say that they want everyone else to always do what they want, but they want it. We decorate and cover up those desires with justifications that seem valid to us.
There are also the goals that are most conscious, such as exercising a certain profession, obtaining a specific position, having a certain amount of money or finding a certain type of partner.
Although in principle they seem perfectly achievable objectives, the truth is that sometimes we set them in terms that are unlikely . It happens, mainly, when we aim at the final result, but we want to skip the process.
For example, we want to work at NASA, but we are lazy to study or we care little about scientific research. Or we want to find a great love, but we understand as a great love that which meets all our needs and brings meaning to our lives. In those cases, there are false goals and, therefore, unattainable .
The possible and the impossible
Giving up impossible goals does not mean that we should settle for only small achievements, nor that we should reduce our purposes to a minimum. Great goals are achieved, which seem impossible, when there is a determined will to realize a whole chain of possible goals. You get far when you conquer every step forward.
What is not valid is to set goals impossible to achieve and use this situation as an excuse for inaction . “I wanted to be a great doctor, but I couldn’t study.” “I would have liked to go to Tanzania, but I have never had enough resources.” Do you see the trap we put in those cases? In those examples, possible goals become impossible because of the way they are addressed.
A great achievement is made up of a large number of goals achieved, step by step, along the way . If this process is not advanced, there will be a time when, in truth, it will be impossible to achieve. Therefore, giving up impossible goals is a way to commit ourselves to possible goals, to move towards those great affordable goals with our circumstances and resources.