How to be Me and not be Afraid of My Identity?

Many of the problems that generate psychological distress that people in western countries suffer have to do with attempts to impersonate us. The social pressure, which leads us to try to offer an idealized image of us, completely undermines any attempt to behave spontaneously and faithful to one’s identity.

That’s why, although it sounds paradoxical, many people wonder … how to be me? Let’s see several tips to lose the bad habit of hiding between layers of a personality that is not ours.

Although society is a place of cooperation, it is also true that these links of collaboration and mutual benefit are not always very clear and the threat of breakage always lurks.

Perhaps that is why we are always so worried about what they will say; In an environment in which our former allies can be our enemies in the present, our personal image has a lot of value, since it is something that defines us as individuals and that does not depend on anyone but us.

As a consequence, we try to create a public version of ourselves that can please others, leaving aside, in part, if that forces us to adopt certain impostures in our habits and in the way of relating that we usually adopt. In the next lines, we will see how this mentality can be fought to sacrifice everything for that idealized image and how to be oneself embracing one’s identity.

Reunite with your hobbies

We must let our physical and intellectual interests and interests develop. The activities that occupy us a lot of time should not be mainly due to what others expect of us.

If not, we will be wasting a lot of potentials. Not only because we could be very good at something if we gain experience in it, but because these activities done for pleasure, although it may not seem like it, can enrich us culturally, but we will not earn so much if they are hobbies that do not excite us and that we perform by pure commitment.

Surround yourself with the people you feel comfortable

Being constantly surrounded by people who judge us negatively in the face of the slightest stridency on our part is a bad decision, given that, whether we realize it or not, that shapes us at the mercy of your expectations.

It is better to meet open-minded people, capable of accepting an idea as simple as the following: it is not necessary that everyone is cut by the same pattern.

Of course, we must ensure that this type of comfortable friendship do not end up becoming social circles in which everyone thinks the same and holds the same vision of things. That is not only not intellectually stimulating: it makes us less reasonable.

Accept your contradictions– No one has a completely consistent and defined personality. Ambiguities and uncertainty is what makes us not totally predictable. It is inevitable that certain situations produce tensions in us, that make us doubt about the option that best represents us, and that we regret certain past decisions. That does not nullify the fact that we can behave authentically, being true to ourselves.

Embrace assertive communicatio– If we are constantly hiding what we want and what interests us, that will end up enslaving us. It is no use being yourself when there is no one watching; you have to bet on authenticity almost always.

Value honesty– Being frank with others can cost at first, but usually generates a chain effect; It makes it easy for those around us to be honest with us too. Therefore, betting on honesty generates spaces in which it is much simpler to be oneself, and in the long run that leads us to be authentic almost without realizing that we are breaking all kinds of limits that in the past came to ballast our way. of socializing with others.

Demystify others– To stop trying to be idealized by others, you have to stop idealizing them; nobody deserves to make all kinds of sacrifices simply to please them.

Achieving it is partly a matter of working on self-esteem and realizing that we too, if we wanted to, would be able to judge others negatively for all kinds of arbitrary reasons if we wanted to, but that we can realize that it makes no sense and that, therefore, someone who does that with us obeys a poor criterion of how people are.