Many of us wonder … how to speak with confidence? How to express my ideas with that perfect combination of assertiveness, seduction and charisma? We know that there are authentic gurus in this field; However, sometimes we feel almost overwhelmed by the advice and the large number of existing strategies, because what we really lack is something very simple: confidence in ourselves.
When we doubt our own effectiveness, everything collapses . Admit it, this happens on more occasions than we would like, are those times when our mind is full of ideas like “I’m sure I get nervous and spoil it,” “it will happen to me like last time, I made a fool of myself” or “Most likely, I cannot prove what I am worth because my speech is clumsy, disjointed and unoriginal.”
The truth is that these types of circumstances can limit many of our work and personal opportunities . There are men and women outstanding in their work, brilliant minds that have, curiously, serious problems when communicating, expressing, getting their ideas to others effectively.
Moreover, something that most of us would like is not only knowing how to speak with confidence, we would also love to do it with charisma and with that charm capable of captivating a certain audience.
There are strategies, we know that. However, before learning or making them ours, it is interesting to know why this problem , this communicative limitation and lack of self-confidence.
Why do I have trouble speaking with security and resolution?
Many of us would like to know how to speak safely to improve our work or studies . Also to strengthen relationships, convince others of our ideas, be somewhat more persuasive, get our messages better and why not, even to captivate people or improve our relationship.
Knowing how to communicate is, after all, improving coexistence and strengthening our human potential a little more . However, we often find it difficult to be solvent in this competition. The reasons for this happening are multiple; On average, they can be summarized in the following psychological realities:
Excitation of the autonomic nervous system
When it is difficult for us to communicate with solvency to one or several people, the cause is usually in insecurity itself and also in stress and anguish.
We fear doing it wrong or showing ourselves incompetent and, it is precisely that fear that feeds the anxiety . Also, this type of anxiety occurs primarily because our brain encodes these situations as threats.
The anguish to be judged, to make it bad or to make a fool of yourself, activates our autonomic nervous system and then, a whole series of symptoms is triggered : nervousness, tachycardia , dry mouth, shortness of breath, sweating … All this further hinders the communication.
Our mind can be a catalyst of strengths or a steamroller of self-esteem and potential . Thus, when our thoughts derive into negative ideas where we judge ourselves as clumsy or, even more, we anticipate a thousand and one blunders, most likely all of this will happen.
The situational factor
Another indispensable factor to assess is the situational . There are environments, moments and people that exert greater pressure on the person, getting us to doubt ourselves, that we feel certain insecurity and even low self-efficacy .
An example of this would be to start a new job where it is expected that we have communication skills to attract customers . That pressure creates anguish and more, when we perceive ourselves as ineffective in that ability. All these are elements that put us to the test.
How to speak with confidence: keys to achieve it
To speak with confidence, each of us depart from our personal reality . There will be someone who simply lacks only a bit of filming, ease and gift of people. Others, on the other hand, must make a deeper internal restructuring, where to turn off insecurities, boost self-esteem, file negative thoughts, better manage anxiety …
All this craftsmanship takes time and demands an authentic commitment to oneself . Once we have that aspect clear and accept to comply, it is time to integrate these basic keys to know how to speak safely.
Strategies to communicate better from self-confidence
- Focus on the message you want to convey, it is all that matters . Set aside other thoughts, fears and anxieties and focus only on what you want to say and to whom it is directed.
- Get out of yourself and connect with who you have in front of you, be it one person, several or a large audience. The connection is power and you can even enjoy that alliance. If you feel comfortable, you transmit comfort. If you feel fear, you will transmit anguish.
- When communicating effectively hurries are prohibited. Do it slowly, one idea after another, in harmony, calmly, but with emphasis on what you say and express so that others feel attracted.
- Do not blunt, avoid repetitions, muffins or interjections
- Appeal to emotions, tell anecdotes, personalize … Simplicity always captivates.
To conclude, when faced with the question of how to speak with confidence, the answer is always simple: with a lot of practice and with good self-confidence. Because when we finally managed to trust ourselves the fears are no longer so great, we dominate the insecurities better and we even allowed ourselves to have fun in those situations that not long ago, they seemed threatening.