Learning to say how I feel is not easy. Where to start One is skilled when it comes to talking about that television series that you are following and that you like so much. It is also easy to describe outside behaviors, what some make us, what others tell us. However, deepening my mood and translating into words that complex, painful and tremendously private ball costs what is not written.
We could say that it is almost like learning a new language. That was to make use of terminology where sensations, emotions, and thoughts are integrated. One where we can channel needs and that psychological malaise that invalidates us and that must leave somewhere. Relief and emotional expression are not only cathartic, but it becomes really healing.
Daniel Goleman defines it as opening a cage and freeing the birds of our emotions. However, we know that it is very easy to say, that most of us understand that talking about what hurts us will make what beats inside us hurts less. However, how to do it, how is this unique craftsmanship of emotional expression carried out? Moreover,… with whom to do it?
All these questions are not minor, because if it is relevant to know how to express and communicate moods, it is even more decisive to know who to do it with. Some people invalidate us and others instead are like the wheels of a mill: absolute facilitators for emotional movement and the release of anguish. Let’s go deeper into it.
Learn to say how I feel: basic keys to achieving it and not regret the attempt
Learning to say how I feel will help me feel better, invest in well-being, self-esteem, and emotional solvency. However, a small aspect must be taken into account. That expression of feelings and sensations should not be done when we can no longer when we have reached the limit and the discomfort hurts when frustrations invalidate and our desire to move on go away.
Saying how I feel in everyday life is a matter of health; a custom to acquire. Because if something upsets me and makes me angry, I don’t have to hide it, I must learn to express my feelings assertively. So, in case certain people, circumstances or facts hurt me, generate anguish or sadness, I should not overlook it either.
Coping with what hurts or worries me here and will now avoid future problems, while improving my relationship with other people. Sincerity, the good use of assertiveness and daily emotional self-management favor coexistence and also one’s own health. Let’s see how to get it.
Before saying how I feel, I must know how to know what happens
Self-awareness is the first step in emotional communication. To understand it better we will give an example. Lately, we are having more discussions arriving home. Anger with our partners are becoming more frequent. Given this situation, what we must do is clarify what happens and what causes that situation.
Sometimes, the focus of the problem is not at home and even less on those who live with us. The original focus maybe our work in the form of stress that we accumulate. That internal discomfort travels with us home, creating a bad atmosphere.
An emotion is an imprint loaded with information that cannot be hidden
Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey, professors of psychology at the University of New Hampshire and Yale University, point out that each emotion is like a code that conveys a specific type of information. Therefore, one of our tasks is to know how to translate them, first for ourselves and then for others.
Now, the problem is that traditionally, nobody has taught us how to do it. Moreover, the most common is that they convince us of the need to repress much of what we feel. If something hurts, you hide it. If something upsets you, you must be correct and polite by letting that emotion pass.
They have taught us that there are bad emotions, such as anger, anger, sadness or disappointment. When in fact, knowing how to give them their space, reading them and placing them in our favor is an exceptional tool for psychological well-being.
- Saying how I feel when something makes me angry will help me not to repeat that fact.
- If I experience anger, it is that there is one aspect in my life that requires changes and that demands from me to mobilize.
- If what I feel is sadness, I must give myself time to recover, knowing, moreover, that there will be things that I must accept.
My mood is mine, but I can share it with people who understand me
Learning to say how I feel will help me to be more and more skilled in Emotional Intelligence. Also, my mood is mine and I do not do well to expect others to solve my problems or to make others feel obliged to make me feel better. That task is mine alone.
From those around me, I can expect support and understanding, also closeness. Hence, I do well when I intelligently select the people with whom I share what I feel, what hurts and worries me. It is best to avoid those who are quick to judge, who underestimate our feelings and those who give us quick and generic recipes to solve specific problems that many variables affect.
To conclude, the matter of emotions remains our pending account. Recognizing what we feel and knowing how to express it assertively is a key to survival and well-being. Let’s work on these aspects.