The Habit of Thinking Badly of Others

Thinking badly about others is primarily a habit that follows from a prejudice. The worst thing is that it is a behavior that usually carries the germ of its own confirmation. This means that the expectation that others act badly or hurt often ends up becoming a reality by the work of those who think so.

Those who adopt the habit of thinking badly about others are usually people who have had surprising and negative experiences in the past. In itself the problem is not those experiences, but the lack of elaboration of them. They have become marked and arouse this bias that, unfortunately, often leads to further damage.

Feeling disappointed by others causes suffering. That another disappointing you is a painful experience and not easy to overcome, especially since it is, generally, a betrayal of trust, a deceit or a significant disregard. However, it is up to each one to work that pain  or allow it to perpetuate forever .

Think badly of others

The habit of thinking badly about others is a way of anticipating possible damage . Be part of the idea that, if attention is not paid, we will be subject to deception. Or that if we don’t attack, we will be attacked. Sometimes we also hurt to prevent them from doing it to us or, in any case, we expect the worst of the other because we don’t want to be taken by surprise.

The consequence of this is that we end up creating superfluous  and defensive links with others, whether they deserve it or not. We deprive ourselves then of the joy of showing ourselves as we are, without shields or calculations. Likewise, we stop experiencing the joy that produces establishing an intimate bond with someone.

Worst of all, we end up inducing others, in one way or another, to fulfill that negative expectation  we have about them . A distrustful person generates distrust, apart from distance. It also causes negative thoughts to arise around it. The result is a tense situation and full of prevention.

If you stand in front of a dog and show him great fear, it is very likely that he will attack you . This is because the animal interprets your fear as a preparation for combat. Keeping the proportions, that can also happen among humans.

The negative experiences of the past

A person who usually thinks badly of others suffers for it, even if he does not admit it. This habit impoverishes his life and helps keep past disappointments alive all the time . It is also possible that he develops harmful behaviors with others, due to his defensive attitude.

The suffering that is not addressed, is not addressed and is not elaborated, ends up becoming an axis for life . Nobody distrusts others because. There is a huge disappointment behind this attitude and, often, such disappointment came from someone deeply loved or depended on a lot.

Their rejection, abandonment or damage occurred in a surprising way. This is precisely what marks the most: the fact of having trusted someone and then seeing that trust was betrayed . Who has been the victim of such a situation blames himself and intends not to fall back into a similar deception.

Elaborate the pain

All people fail us sometime, just as we do. There is no one who goes through life without causing some sort of disappointment to others. Human beings are neither angels nor demons. We make mistakes often and sometimes some people get hurt by those mistakes.

Fighting with all humanity does not make things easier, but quite the opposite . It turns disappointment into the central focus of life and makes us prisoners of it. The way out is not to weaken all our defenses and trust everyone overnight. Rather, it is about returning to those episodes that marked us so deeply.

More than forgiving others, it is important to put ourselves at peace with ourselves. If we trust and deceive or disappoint us, that has more to do with the person who did it, than with us. It was that someone who was wrong, because we did the right thing: trust.