There are several situations in which we may feel unable to make a decision without consulting . Others in which we simply want to have different points of view. In any case, before accepting advice, we must know certain realities that affect its validity.
Not all tips will be beneficial. Some may lead us to the wrong path. And since only we will experience the consequences of our actions, it would be wise to be critical of the information that comes to us.
So, when you ask for an external opinion, regardless of the confidence that the person who gives it can inspire us, do not forget to pass it through the filter of your critical thinking .
Each person sees the world through their own glasses
The same objective fact lends itself to a thousand different subjective interpretations. Each of us interprets reality based on our own thinking patterns . There are those who always find the kind side of situations and those who only perceive the difficulty and risk.
So, for the same behavior, some may find naturalness and others bad intentions. Before deciding who you are going to approach for advice, analyze what kind of glasses that person uses, what their worldview is . Pay attention to the way he gives meaning to what happens in his life and decides if you want that pattern for yours.
If you listen to who wears the glasses of optimism , it will be easier for you to find answers that talk about learning, strength and new opportunities. On the contrary, if you go to those who look behind a blurry and gray glass, you will most likely get opinions based on fear, limitation and negativity.
Everyone carries their backpack
Another aspect that most influences when generating an opinion in each person is their past . His experiences, his experiences and his learnings condition the way he sees life , especially if they have not been healed and integrated. Humans have the tendency to compare current situations with those past circumstances that have been similar.
In this way, you have to keep in mind that the advice you receive will always be impregnated by your interlocutor’s own personal history . If, for example, you are hesitant about the possibility of leaving your job and undertaking, the opinion of who tried and succeeded will be different from who failed in your attempt. And it will also differ from who never dared to try.
Likewise, if you consult a couple problem with several friends, the one who maintains a relationship of emotional dependence will advise you something different from who found happiness for himself . And also something different from who managed to save their marriage after a crisis or who has always experienced a life in a stable couple and without altercations.
Remember to filter your opinions and try to find out how they relate to your own experiences. Take their advice but understand that these reflect much of their history, and that they are not solely focused on your current situation.
Should I accept advice from anyone?
In view of this information, you will have understood the need to be cautious before accepting advice from others. One of the most significant points that differentiate the work of a psychologist from the advice that a loved one can provide you with is the cleanliness and objectivity of the views of the former.
Mental health professionals have extensive training that allows them to provide an objective and empirical vision to the problems they address. But, in addition, many of them have carried out their own personal therapy process , which has allowed them to empty their backpack, purify their beliefs and heal their wounds . Thus, they are in a better position to guide others without their own history influencing their work.
But, since many of our indecisions are punctual and do not require the intervention of a professional, try to go to people around you who meet these characteristics. Ask opinion of those who have gone through complicated situations and have managed to get strengthened.
Surround yourself with people who have dared to look at each other, with their light and darkness . May they be aware of their wounds and have healed them. And, above all, remember: nobody has a more valid opinion than yours when we talk about your own life.