Why Busy Peoples are not Always Happy?

Busy people have goals to accomplish every day . Seen from outside, they appear high motivation and resolution; they come, they go, they project, they communicate, they solve and they reach objectives.

All this leads us to assume that these men and women feel satisfied with themselves, that this hyperactivity is in clear harmony with their vital needs and that, therefore, they are happy.

Are we wrong? Not at all. There will be, of course, who feels fulfilled by that lifestyle. They are those people who at the end of the day are dropped exhausted on the pillow but with satisfaction and well-being filling their mind.

Now, recent studies reveal another kind of reality: being busy most of the day does not make us feel happy.

This data as, we can assume, has nuances. The most remarkable is easy to understand and surely we will even feel identified. One may have a job that pleases him, but the time – both physical and mental – that we devote to these occupations is almost always excessive . Rendering at this level drains energy and even motivation.

Also, another important factor is added, and that is that we are not only “busy” most of the day, we also feel “worried.” We are, so to speak, a hyper-busy society, but less and less satisfied with what it does. And that is a serious problem at all levels.

Busy people who have lost their happiness

One may have lost happiness and keep functioning. We do it by inertia, because reality rules, because obligations push and the world runs so fast that it makes us move almost without our noticing.

However, something fails, we are almost like a clock without hands, like a violin without strings or a black and white canvas that has lost its color.

The most striking thing about busy people is that they are aware that the existential dissatisfaction is there, pricking, brushing in each movement. However, instead of facing or trying to resolve this internal dissonance, they move it and limit themselves to doing the only thing they know: work, take responsibility for more things, fill the day with more activities and tasks.

Why do we do it? Why do we derive in such situations? The psychologists Keinan, Bellezza and Paharia (2019) delved into this same topic last year. Thus, in a study published in the journal Opinions Psychology , they revealed very interesting data that undoubtedly invite us to more than one reflection. They are the following.

Be busy status symbol

Not long ago we conceived that who has a lot of free time was because he had status. Working little and resting a lot defined those people with great economic solvency.

At present, this idea has varied, so much so that today we label as lazy who does nothing, who dares to be “unoccupied” for a while.

  • This causes several things. The first is that we internalize that the expected and even the natural is to fill our days with multiple obligations and activities;  the more the better because in that way, we will appear to have greater status.
  • Thus, it is assumed that fulfilling long working hours is expected and that, after them, it is also positive to go to the gym , go to the pool, do some course, etc., etc.
  • The second thing we see frequently is that busy people, in addition, link more and more tasks to the sense of accomplishment . The more I make a better image I will give to others and I will show myself even of all that I am capable of.

Busy people have a problem with their emotions

Brene Brown, a professor at the University of Houston, maintains a theory that is worth considering. Busy people, those who dedicate a large part of their day to job responsibilities, turn to their tasks and responsibilities as a defense mechanism for not thinking . It is a way to numb your emotional needs, those you don’t know how to deal with.

Somehow, the fact of arriving home mentally and physically exhausted is ideal. Because that way, there is no room for those lonely moments in which to connect with oneself and let the emotional world surface .

It is better to silence what we feel to continue functioning, to continue to appear solvency, effectiveness and status. Because whoever stops and dares to be unoccupied what he demonstrates (according to this false belief) is weakness. All this translates sooner or later in the appearance of anxiety disorders or depressions.

Learn to be “unoccupied” to gain welfare

The “I must and I have to” inevitably take us away from the “I would like and need.” When we spend much of our time rigidly occupied with the obligations that others place on us and that we assign ourselves, we are increasingly moving away from those mental and physical priorities that we all need.

We must learn to establish a balance. Every day we have responsibilities to fulfill, but it is vital that we establish leisure and rest times. Because being unemployed is health and is a vital necessity; What’s more, sometimes “doing nothing” is much better than an analgesic.

Therefore, it is never too much to start making changes, readjust activities, schedules and priorities . Likewise, it is also essential that we take care of an essential area, that which is often so neglected and that when we leave it, increases the danger that our mental health suffers. We talk about our emotions. Listening to them and knowing what they want to tell us is happiness first.

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